


The Sweetest Taste

by roughdiamond5



Category: Underland Chronicles
Genre: Hurt-Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-12
Updated: 2010-02-14
Packaged: 2013-12-03 19:30:39
Rating: K+
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,328
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5740474/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1300743/roughdiamond5
Summary: Threeshot after Code of Claw. The pairing no one ever thought of...





	1. Chapter 1

**In honor of Valentines Day, I believe a threeshot is in order. Of course, I kept this for a few months, but the occasion is definitely appropriate. Enjoy!**

**PART ONE**

It was meant to be a brief visit, but Howard thought it might last for eternity. Already, their few moments wandering the halls of the palace seemed to drag on for hours. Stellovet was halting her siblings every few feet to speak with whoever was present. Hero and Kent threw themselves into the fifth argument of the day. And Chim…what had gotten into her? Every moment she reached for an older siblings' hand, desperate to show something. She had gotten interested in performing tricks. But Howard couldn't watch her, not now; his ears alone felt overloaded as it was.

"Luxa is in the throne room, Kent! She must be having lessons at this time of day."

"Lessons are never held in the _throne_ room. They are not even in the same wing," Kent scoffed to Hero. "We must look by the nursery, or else on the field—"

"The_ nursery?_ Luxa is too old to be so close to the nursery. And I do not want to walk so far to the field, and even if we had fliers, I doubt we are allowed to—"

"Hero, lower your voice!" Stellovet turned from the guard she was gossiping with, so abruptly that her neck might have broken. "You are both wrong. Luxa holds her lessons near the kitchens, which are nowhere near the throne room or the nursery. However, perhaps we could check in the nursery and leave you there if only to quiet you!" She turned back to the guard. "I apologize for my siblings. Now, remind me, what do you do when you are not guarding? In fact, how long will your shift take?"

"Stellovet, please." Howard ran a hand over his eyes and took her from the guard by her arm. Stellovet had been right, in fact, but he wasn't about to announce that. She'd return to the guard with an inflated ego and renewed will.

A small hand tugged at Howard. "Howard! Come see this!" Chim said excitedly. "There is a very high balcony, and it is large enough for us to all sit on the edge!"

"No, Chim, we are not going to sit on the edge."

"Then watch me walk it."

"No!" Howard said so loudly that Kent and Hero paused. Howard took the opportunity when he saw it. "We are going to walk to the kitchens, through the nursery wing. We will ask for directions when we are close. And we will be _quiet._"

A moment of contemplation, as if this was a deal being offered and not a set of directions. Kent raised his hand. "Will we walk like soldiers?"

"You may," Howard said with a slight exhale. This could actually work.

Stellovet sniffed. "I would rather not." And then she started down the hall. Kent and hero stood erect, saluted to each other, and then began what they pretended to be a long and weary trek. Howard took Chim by the hand and followed, and all was peaceful for a full corridor. Until Hero exclaimed:

"Kent! You were not supposed to start on your left!"

Howard suppressed a groan. They were not always this bad, his siblings. The twins normally played more than bickered, and even Stellovet, flirtatious as she was, had her pleasant points. But times had been trying for their entire family after the War of Time, even once Howard and his father had come home to the Fount. York worked tirelessly to aid Luxa in repairing Regalia—with his own city relatively untouched and Vikus still half paralyzed—and Susannah showed equal interest in seeing the surviving nibblers to a new home. And with no political standing, no duties to a throne, and no people to heal, Howard was the best candidate to take on his siblings.

Howard found himself living in the past, with no future to help build. Flashes of Gregor, Pandora, Nike, Ares, Ripred, Lizzie, Boots—flashes of memory hit him like an epiphany, triggered by the mention of a word or the mere sight of an object. And each time, he found himself thinking, "It was real." He had not been Howard, the eldest child, the caretaker. He had been Howard on the quest, Howard with the plague, Howard looking after and sometimes saving the lives of his companions. And they were companions who had come to know him as well as he knew himself. There was something to fight for, something to protect from—

And now there was only something to remember. Like water that had run dry, that world had evaporated to live only in people like him and Luxa. He saw the same memories in his cousin's eyes each day, and knew that the fairy story was done. A chapter of their lives had ended. And what was there to begin?

Howard didn't know he had been blocking out his surroundings until Chim almost pulled his arm out of his socket. "Howard, please, may I—what is wrong?"

He blinked, and then rubbed the mistiness out of his eyes. "Nothing is wrong. May you what?

"May I ride on the fliers?" Chim pointed out the window to a flock of fliers practicing dives. They must have been a quarter mile away.

"They will not hear you," Howard said, and tried to listen to the twins, who looked ready to claw each other's hair out.

Chim, however, persisted. "Then may I call them? I can call very loud. Will you let me?"

"No. Hero, you may _not_ hit him!"

"Then why may Stellovet hit him, but I may not?" Hero retorted. Kent raised his hand to wallop his twin back, but Howard rushed up and grasped it firmly.

Stellovet halted, and then turned around with fire in her eyes. "I never hit Kent!"

"You did the day after Father left to fight," Kent called. Stellovet stalked over and crossed her arms imposingly.

"You needed to be hit, if you were going to take my bread!"

"It was mine!" Hero objected. "Kent got it for me."

"It was never yours," Stellovet said. "I specifically claimed the loaf—"

"You claimed the loaf, but Hero's slice was not part of the loaf. It was not like you were going to eat the entire thing," Kent grinned, "since you always saved half of it for Lucius."

Stellovet turned scarlet. "The farmer's son has nothing to do with me hitting you, and I say you deserved to be hit, because you two were in the same room as I when I—"

"_I_ say," Hero said, "if Mother was there, you would have had to apologize—"

"And the bread would have gone to the livestock!" Stellovet said. "Oh, wait, forgive me. It was already in the hands of livestock when I lost it." She glared to Kent.

Howard stepped in. "Stellovet, this is no occasion for—"

"Oh?" Hero said. "What are you, Stellovet? Certainly not ready for marriage, I heard Father say, if you continue to gossip like this!"

"Hero!" Howard and Stellovet both exclaimed.

"Howard, I found a stairway!" Chim called. She had peeked around the corner of the next hallway, and took a few steps to the opening.

"My marriage is nothing you would understand," Stellovet growled. "You who still play near dead bodies! Why do you not embrace a crawler as well?"

Howard turned back to the argument. "The crawlers are _not_—"

"But she can still stand a dead body and not run away shrieking!" Kent defended his sister.

Howard tried again. "It does not matter—"

"It is so long!" Chim's voice echoed as she stuck her head into the entry of the spiral staircase.

"What reasonable person does not dislike a dead body?" Stellovet said.

"It is not a matter of disliking, Stellovet, because you are afraid of the dead," Kent said, "especially the giant, flea-ridden gnawers!"

"Kent!" Stellovet cried and stepped back.

"With their overgrown teeth and their coats mangled and covered with blood—"

"Kent, that is quite enough!" Howard said.

"Oh yes, because we have not even gotten to Kent and his fear of spinners!" Stellovet said in glee. "With their long, hairy legs and those eyes that look right into your—"

"I could go down in five seconds, Howard!" Chim said from the stairs.

"Stellovet!"

"Hero!"

"Watch!"

"_Chim!_" Howard cried and ran to the staircase. But it was too late. He had seen her awkward footing, he'd noticed the missing brick, but now the only thing he wanted to see was Chim, who had toppled headfirst down the stone, circular stairway. Howard's limbs seemed to freeze over, so he could only submit himself to the thuds, crashes, and mangled cries. Imagination took over from there.

At last—too quickly—silence. Howard's breath caught in his throat, and he counted to himself, waiting for some sort of noise that signified life.

"One…two…three…" If his head counted beyond ten, he was going to have to assume something very unfortunate had taken place. But a quiet sniff, and then the sound of whimpered tears brought air rushing back into his lungs.

"Stay there," Howard said quietly, but with such force that Stellovet, Kent, and Hero dared not move. He stepped down the first step as if he was an old man. Perhaps he was avoiding the step with the missing brick, or perhaps he was weak with images of Chim weighing him down, none of those images being good. All he knew was that, wish as he might to go faster, he did not want to imagine what pain his sister might feel at knowing her siblings had not been there for her.

Step by step, the whimpers grew louder and heavier, more urgent, more punctuated with sniffs, until Chim was on the verge of—

"Hush."

The noise stifled itself. It sounded as if Chim was crying into someone's breast.

"Hush now, little one."

Howard's speed doubled.

"All is well now." A choked laugh. "Oh, what a worry you gave me…"

Howard's feet flew, and the spiral staircase ran past him in a blur until he fell onto his knees at the bottom. And there lay Chim, wrapped up in the arms of a girl no older than Stellovet.

"Chim!" Howard pulled the six-year-old into his lap and held her so that she was sobbing into his chest. He rocked her back and forth, feeling her torso and arms for injuries with one hand while the other held her head under his chin. When he felt nothing serious, both his arms encircled her and he let out a trembling breath. Chim had not stopped crying, despite her injury-free state.

"I am sorry, Chim," Howard murmured. "So very, very sorry."

Chim sobbed and hiccupped into his shirt, which soon dampened. The girl trembled in his arms, which only made him rock her more. For a few moments, it was just Howard and his sister, before Howard realized that the girl who had first held Chim was still beside them on the floor.

The girl could not have been older than sixteen, with a heart-shaped face and hair chopped to a medium length to frame it. Her large violet eyes first examined Howard's with a mixture of curiosity and awe. But when he turned to her, those eyes turned downcast as she hummed a small tune and began to peel off Chim's shoes.

Howard was confused. Was she checking for injuries as well? Chim was curious enough to look up, and by the time the girl had propped Chim's foot into an upright position and started speaking softly, Howard's and Chim's eyes widened in recognition.

"_Two tiny rows  
__Of five tiny toes,  
__Give Chim ten good reasons to wiggle her nose._"

The girl leaned down to Chim's foot, pretended to sniff, and made a motion as if to waft fumes away. "Phew!" Chim giggled very slightly, and then a few times more, as the girl played with each of Chim's toes individually.

"_Wiggle your nose  
__At eight, nine, ten toes…_"

"_Then give them a bath so each tiny toe glows._" Howard completed the line softly. The girl looked up to meet his eyes. Something stirred inside him.

"I thought I was the only one who knew those lines," he said quietly, hesitating to add that he had made them up.

The girl smiled, and when she did, her eyes became softer. "I was taught them. It seems like a very long time ago, now."

"Who taught you?"

"Boots the Overlander. Her brother clarified the specific words, but it was Boots who taught me what a help it could be."

Howard's eyebrows shot up. He knew that name.

The girl, for some reason, lowered her eyes so she was staring at Chim's toes again. "I know I have no reason to know the warrior or the princess. Forgive me."

"For what?" Howard asked in a half-laugh.

"For mentioning the topic."

"I was the one who mentioned it," he said, quirking half a smile. "And besides, I knew them as well."

"As did I," Chim said from Howard's lap. "I liked the Overlander."

"And I as well," the girl said gently before her eyes met Howard's shyly.

"What is your name?" he asked.

"I am called Dulcet," she said. "And you are—"

"Meet you Howard, my brother," Chim said, imitating their mother's formal-yet-friendly tone as best she could. "He and I and our brother and sisters live in Regalia."

"No, we are from the Fount," Howard said.

"But we spend most of our time here," Chim said, confused.

Dulcet laughed, and her eyes glowed. "Perhaps we should return you to your siblings, then. They must be worried."

"They fight very much," Chim said, and then squealed as Howard swept her off the ground to carry her bridal style.

Dulcet hid her mouth behind her hand, but her laugh lines were easily visible. "May I be of assistance, Howard of the Fount?"

"Thank you, but I can carry her." Howard shifted Chim in his arms so she was more comfortable.

"No, I mean to say that you might be lost, else you and your siblings would not be so scattered. May I help you find anything? Oh, but that is ridiculous of me," she added hurriedly. "You have surely visited enough to—"

"Actually," Howard said, "could you tell us where Luxa takes her lessons now?"

He only realized after he had spoken that he only left out Luxa's title when he spoke with his family (or Gregor—he should not remember this now, though). However, Dulcet smiled in understanding.

"I believe she studies in the wing east of the kitchen, two doors down the hall on the left side. But I also believe she is with Ripred the Peacemaker, who tolerates no interruptions. However, may I offer an alternative? I am on my way to the nursery, and am in need of volunteers like you," she smiled at him and Chim, "to assist me. Would you like this, Chim?"

"Yes!" Chim grinned. "I will tell Hero and Kent and Stellovet." And, fully recovered, she squirmed out of Howard's arms and ran upstairs to do just that. Howard made to follow, but felt a warm hand on his wrist that made him freeze up.

"While I am asking questions to one above my station," Dulcet said quietly, "my curiosity overwhelms me. Why did you look like you did when I spoke of Boots?"

Howard took a breath in. "I knew her as well. It was a long time ago, though, and she feels almost…dead to me. It was a surprise to hear you mention her—"

"When I am nothing but a nanny?"

"No! No, it was not that at all. I would not be surprised if Boots never forgot you, if you have been as kind to her as you have been to Chim." Dulcet glowed pink at the comment. "It is only that…once she and her family left us, things have been difficult."

"…I am not sure what you mean, and I do not intend to ask. But please, let me share with you what Boots told me herself: even if a person is gone, they live on in your heart."

Howard straightened as he recognized another quote of his. But as he tried to look at Dulcet in confusion, her eyes could evoke nothing but a gentle smile.

**I suppose, if you really wanted, you could stop reading here. However, I intend to add conflict to this, hence I made this a threeshot. Are there any opinions on this particular pairing? Come on, someone has to oppose it, and someone has to like it...**


	2. Chapter 2

**PART TWO**

For some reason, Howard could not let go of his memories of the nursery. He was content to have something distract him from the events of the past year (the pain had even dulled slightly), but what did it have to be his siblings and the children and Dulcet that replaced it? Why not lessons, or training, or time with his family, or…anything?

Whatever the reason, Howard rarely asked himself why it was that he would hum to himself little tunes that the children had sung. Or why he would smile when he saw a mess and remembered how he and Dulcet had cleaned many of them together. Or why he envisioned a pair of eyes trained on him raptly as he told stories of his journey to the Bane and his adventures in Hades Hall.

In fact, if Howard bothered to question his replayed memories, his first matter to settle would be to answer why Dulcet stood out in everything he thought of. Because he always imagined her eyes—never anyone else's—studying him, and the tunes he hummed were the ones Dulcet had sung along to.

No, Howard never asked why that afternoon stayed imprinted in his mind. But his siblings did.

"Howard, what are we doing today?" Hero asked at the breakfast table. York and Susannah had left early for their various duties, so only the five siblings remained in the apartment.

"We could…visit Vikus, or perhaps Hazard or Luxa," Howard said. "We could go the field and see if Mareth would allow us to use swords."

"We could visit the nursery," Stellovet said.

"I like that idea."

"Perhaps it is because you have suggested it every day since we last went there?"

"I have not," Howard said, but found himself looking at his breakfast instead of his sister. "But that was a good late day, was it not?"

"I liked it," Chim said. "There were many things to do—"

"And eat," Kent added.

"And play with," Hero said. "And Dulcet was very nice."

"I believe we are all in agreement about that," Stellovet said, and gave Howard a smirk from across the table.

"I do not know what you are implying, sister," Howard said, "but it sounds as if you had a better idea as to how to spend time."

"I have none."

"Then I will ask you to leave the subject alone."

A pause, in which everyone turned to their breakfast. Then, without looking up, Stellovet spoke. "I wish to see Luxa today."

"But Stellovet," Chim said, "you do not like Luxa."

Stellovet flushed. "When have I said that?"

"When Father began to spend his time here," Kent said. "You told Mother that Father was wasting his time to help such a 'stubborn child' and that you thought Luxa was a—"

"Do you remember everything?" Stellovet snapped.

"Between me and Hero, nothing goes unnoticed." Kent grinned to his sister.

"Stellovet has a good idea," Howard said abruptly.

"That Luxa is a stubborn child?" Hero asked.

"Not quite," Howard said with half a smile, "but we have not seen our cousin in some time. I would like to see how she fares. And perhaps, with luck, we may find Hazard with her."

The three younger children sprouted smiles on their faces. Luxa had not left Hazard wanting in terms of toys, and the Halflander himself fascinated the Fount siblings with his tales and language skills. Howard knew he had won his siblings over.

After breakfast, the five of them took a journey across half the palace to the High Hall, where families of nibblers still resided more than two weeks after the war. Luxa, Susannah, and Ripred were squeezed together in one corner of the colossal room, and none of them looked happy to be there. However, Howard knew from the weary look in the three sets of eyes that no one would dream of resting until at least one task was completed.

Susannah saw her children and waved them to the corner. Luxa almost smiled when she met Howard's eyes, but Ripred scowled at the lot of them.

"Great, more pups to attend to," he grumbled. "And I thought the Hall had reached its limit."

"Oh, enough, Ripred." Luxa rolled her eyes.

"As her highness commands," Ripred replied sarcastically.

"Are you all well?" Susannah asked as she picked up Chim and kissed her on top of her head. "What is the matter?"

"Nothing is the matter," Howard said. "We only wished to visit our cousins today, but perhaps now is a bad time?"

"Actually," Luxa said, "this is a good coincidence, for I would have sent for you in a moment." To the younger children, with a point of her finger across the Hall: "Hazard has arranged some of the nibbler pups to play games, and he is in need of helpers to work with the English-speaking pups. Perhaps you would be interested?"

"Of course!" Hero said, and she and Kent ran into the nibbler crowd. Chim squirmed out of Susannah's arms and toddled after them.

"Wait for your sister!" Susannah called. She then turned to the remaining children and gnawer. "I will begin my duty, then, shall I?"

"I'm right behind you," Ripred said, and he and Susannah left to merge into the crowd.

"What is this duty, then?" Stellovet asked Luxa curtly.

"It is simple," Luxa said as if she was ignoring Stellovet and speaking to Howard only. "Approach a nibbler family, ask where they have lived before they were here, and write the answer down. With any luck, we will have resources enough to send each family to their original home, and not to a new one."

"And what if their home is Regalia?" Stellovet asked. "What if you have let them stay here so long that they do not want to leave?"

Luxa turned to answer Stellovet coldly. But before she could, Howard wrapped his hand around his sister's forearm and said, "If you will give us ink and parchment, we will do our best."

"You may fetch it in the nearest classroom, near the kitchens," Luxa said. "I will meet you there once I speak with Hazard."

Howard nodded and pulled Stellovet into one of the hallways. Once they were out of sight of the nibblers, though, Stellovet yanked her wrist away from him. "I am perfectly capable of walking to the classroom by myself," she said. "You may go and start working with the nibblers."

"Not until I have an answer from you," Howard said and matched her quickened pace. "Why would you suggest to see Luxa."

"She is my cousin. I may see her when I wish."

"But you cannot hold your tongue around her, and you could never do so, even if she was the only one who could save you from death by a gnawer's claw. Why would you wish to see someone who angered you so?"

"No one said I wished to see her. But I was hoping to speak with her _alone_, and that is all I will say on the matter."

"What will you say to her that you will not to me?"

"Did you not say that you wanted one answer from me before you would leave? I have given you one answer, so leave me to myself!"

"And that talk is exactly what makes me break my word." Howard caught Stellovet's arm, and she was forced to stop. She still looked ahead, though, as Howard spoke: "Do you remember Uncle Kent? Of course you do. He was our favorite family member on Father's side. And do you remember when the twins were born, shortly after we learned of his and his bond's death in battle?"

"Mother named Kent after our uncle," Stellovet murmured with her eyes on the stone floor, "and Hero after his bond."

"And when you heard?"

"I left the room."

"You left the house. And I tried to run after you, but you yelled those exact words to me, the same you say now. And you have repeated them to the twins and to Chim and even to Mother and Father, whenever you were hiding something. So when you say 'leave me to myself,' something is very wrong."

Stellovet held very still for a minute. Howard half-expected her to react harshly, to sarcastically thank him for a story she already knew, or even to insult him and force herself on her way. But instead, she said softly:

"You know me too well. You know everyone and everything, Howard. And so I cannot lose you."

"Lose me?"

"Do not think I have not noticed," Stellovet said, and turned to face him sadly. "The way you play with children, the way you volunteer to take care of everyone, the way you always wish to go to the nursery… Does that mean nothing?"

Howard shook his head. "If you notice something, I do not."

"You are beginning to fall in love with that nanny."

"Dulcet? No, sister, you must be mistaken."

"I am quite clear about this, brother. I am used to watching cases like this. You are hoping that you will see her, or she will see you, and through that—"

"You _are_ mistaken. This is no time for feelings like that, and I have no intention to let Dulcet stand between me and—"

"What time would be practical for such feelings as love, then, Howard? Believe me when I say I do not like this any more than you do, but you and I are approaching the age where it matters, regardless of what we want."

"And, after all the men you socialize with, you worry?"

"Of course! At first I thought that if I wed before you, it would not matter. But now there is a chance that you will wed before me—"

"Whatever makes you think—"

"Listen to me!" Stellovet snapped. "If you wed and I do not, you will go off into the Underland with your bride, and where will I be? I will be the eldest child."

"Stellovet, you know that wherever we both may be, you will always be—"

"The second-born, I know. But I was the eldest child when you were off on your adventures and I was at home. And I could not take it, Howard, I could not bear Hero and Kent and Chim. They kept following me and demanding of me, and reminding me that I was responsible for not just myself but three others. And that is what awaits me if you wed, so I have come here today for two reasons. I want to keep you away from this girl that steals your mind and heart from us. And I want Luxa's help to keep her away."

"And what did you imagine Luxa would say to this?" asked a voice from the end of the corridor. Luxa herself was leaning against the wall, and approached the siblings to stand beside Howard. "What is your sister talking about?" she asked him.

"Stellovet fears I am in love. But she does not realize that she has nothing to fear."

"That depends. Who is the girl?"

"Dulcet," Stellovet answered before Howard could. "The girl who takes care of the youth in the palace."

"I know her," Luxa said and looked up at Howard with a bemused look in her eyes that drew attention from the dark circles beneath.

"What?" Howard asked, suddenly self-conscious.

"It is only that I am enjoying this," Luxa said with half a smile. "I have never imagined you to love, but the idea entertains me very much."

"So I assume I may not ask for your help in halting this," Stellovet said almost in a sigh.

"What am I to do about this?"

"You have the power to do anything. Announce that you want them separated. Remove Dulcet from her position. Banish her."

"Now why would I banish her?" Luxa's smile evaporated to be replaced with a scowl. "Dulcet has done no wrong, and neither has Howard. If that is all you have, then I regret to inform you—" she did not sound regretful "—that I will take no part in this."

Stellovet's eyes flashed in a mixed expression of pain, fear, and resignation, but she had composed herself in less than a second. "Then, your highness," she sniffed, "I hope you will excuse me to fetch our writing materials."

"You are excused," Luxa said, and watched as Stellovet marched down the hall and turned into the next with a glower radiating from her face.

"You do realize that by this point, Stellovet is most likely ready to murder you for that crown," Howard noted.

Luxa pushed up the golden band that encircled her head. "By this point, I would help her plan the murder. But seeing as she cannot seem to handle even her siblings, I suppose I will have to press on." She sighed, and looked to Howard with weary but amused eyes. "So, my cousin is in love. The very cousin who forbids me from the very feeling, no less. How does it feel?"

Howard opened his mouth to answer for what felt like the hundredth time that he felt no such thing, but Luxa's note caught him off guard. He had seen the looks between Luxa and Gregor, felt the tension as they fought, heard the worry in care in Gregor's voice as he talked to her to keep her from dying. And Howard had forbidden anything more than friendship. But he remembered his single afternoon in the nursery with Dulcet, and found an ineffable similarity between what he felt there and what Luxa appeared to feel for Gregor. A thought struck Howard: he was defying his own order.

"Why are you letting me?" he asked Luxa. "After I have forbidden you from Gregor?"

"I ask myself the same question," Luxa said with half a grin. "Perhaps I want to spite Stellovet, or perhaps I want you to see things my way. But perhaps I think you need it. You have taken care of everyone for your entire life, and as you will not be ruling anything anytime soon, you should seize this opportunity. You have earned it."

"And you have not?"

"I think I have, but it is up to my older and wiser cousin."

Howard tried to say no, but Dulcet's eyes appeared in his head. Maybe it was love, maybe not. But now he could see why Luxa would want Gregor with her, Overlander or not, royalty or not. "We will see," he said. "You still have quite a task ahead of you, and Gregor will make it no easier."

"But he will make it no harder," Luxa said. "Howard, may I at least see him before he leaves? If he is gone, you will have no trouble—"

"Please, Luxa, I do not want to hear it just now," Howard said. Dulcet's eyes would not leave him, not this time. "I never imagined I would ask this, but what should I do about her?"

"Do you love her?"

"You ask me this now?"

"Just answer me."

"I do not know."

"Would you be willing to know her further?"

"…I would not be unwilling."

"Have you anything to risk by being with her?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"Everything."

"Would you risk it?"

"I do not know, Luxa."

"Then I do not know what to tell you, Howard. If you were certain you loved her, my answer would be simple: tell her. If you did not, it is equally simple: do nothing. But until you decide, I can tell you nothing. Now, Stellovet will return any moment now, and I fear I am neglecting my duties. Will you come with me to meet the nibblers?"

Howard nodded absently, and they headed back to the High Hall. But as they walked, he could not help but ask himself question after question. And what answered him were memories of Dulcet. "This is not right," he told himself whenever such images popped into his mind. Normally he could work things out. But what was there to work out? She was a woman. He was a man. He did not know he felt about her, and there were too few facts or experiences for him to sort out. Not to mention that his family depended too much on him (and the kingdom depended too much on his family) for him to be off with one person and ignoring his duties to everyone else, even if she was a person that made him feel something he couldn't name. He decided he had to see her once more. He could decide then.


	3. Chapter 3

**Before I forget, I've heard from others in the fandom that don't believe Howard and Dulcet would make a good couple because of age difference. I do, however, recall that in _Gregor the Overlander_, she was described as about fifteen years old. Does this help?**

**PART THREE**

This was the letter that greeted Howard as he sat to lunch:

"_Howard,_

_I request your assistance in the hospital wing towards the late day. We are expanding some of the medical wings and relocating a number of doctors and patients. Queen Luxa and I immediately thought of you. Send my best to your mother and siblings._

_York_"

"A flier dropped it off while you were with Chim," Hero said as the siblings settled down to eat. "Who is it from?"

"Father," Howard said, still glancing over York's block-like penmanship.

"What does he say?" Kent asked.

"He sends his best to all of us," Howard said as he set down the letter and looked to four curious faces. "And he wishes me to go to the hospital near late day."

"Oh, must we go?" Stellovet asked. The last time she'd been in a hospital, her blood seemed to drain out of her and amass on the floor with the blood of the dead and wounded.

"It is only me that Father wishes to come," Howard said gently, but Stellovet still looked uneasy. "Will you all be well without me?"

"Of course, Howard," Hero said. "But what are we to do to pass the time?"

"There are always the nibbler pups to attend to. Or there is Hazard, or the nursery. But, seeing as Stellovet is going to be minding you, perhaps you should ask her."

"I have no plans," Stellovet said. "Discuss it amongst yourselves, and then we will see."

The twins and Chim spent the rest of the meal in conversation—or rather, debate. But still, they were distracted enough to not ask why Howard had grinned slightly at Stellovet. It was only that she had sounded very much like an elder child just then.

"I believe I will go to the medical wing early," Howard announced after the meal was complete. "Will you all behave for Stellovet?"

"Perhaps not _for_ Stellovet," Hero said, "but we will behave while Stellovet is watching over us."

"Close enough," Howard said as he rolled his eyes. He mouthed "good luck" to Stellovet, and left the apartments.

What was odd was, he had left with such vigor, but once he was out he lost all sense of purpose. He had slid York's letter into his belt, and now took it out and reread it as he ambled through the corridor. York had never given him a specific time, so Howard could easily pass a few moments on a walk.

His first thought was to return to the stairs that Chim had fallen down, simply because it was one of the rawest memories in his mind. But instead he persuaded himself to return to the large balcony the one where he had found Gregor with a dislocated rib. The one where he and Pandora had liked to go.

Howard knew he should not go to a place where so much had happened. But nearly every inch of this palace retained some sort of sentimental value, and besides, his siblings never agreed to go to the balcony. They never appreciated what a view it held, and never held still long enough for Howard to point out all they could see from there. They never understood that if Howard sat on the edge, closed his eyes, and remained very still, he felt like he was flying on Pandora again.

Howard's head snapped to look behind him. A rustle, as soft as a flier's wing, had echoed just a moment ago. Now, only silence and empty space.

He turned around again and walked, a little slower this time. This palace was filled with delegates, royalty, servants, refugees, soldiers, bonds, and who knew what else, all constantly travelling, moving, and doing. So whoever was here, why would he or she not simply appear and get on with his or her duties? This wing was not as frequented as others, but that should be no reason to—

There! Howard's entire body spun around as the rustle sounded once more. And yet no one appeared. However, there were several doorways, and giant stone pots dotted the walls sporadically. Perfect hiding places.

Howard walked once more, but did not bother to turn his body around. So he was facing completely backwards to see the foot that slid out hesitantly from behind one of the stone pots.

"Stop," Howard said so that it echoed. "Let me see you."

The foot paused, and then slid further out until a body separated itself from the pot—Dulcet.

"Have you been following me?" Howard asked.

Dulcet's entire face turned pink. "Only for the last hallway or two. I would have liked to have made my presence known, but the right moment never arrived, and you seemed very peaceful."

"I would not have minded if you had interrupted me," Howard said. He paused and then hastened to add, "I only do not want to think that worse things are following me."

"What sort of things would you think to be worse? The one thing I could imagine would be your siblings, but you seem to handle them so well."

Howard remembered Dulcet's profession and realized that this must be a sort of compliment. His cheeks heated up. "They can be a handful, but they are not the reason I have gone on my own. It is actually—wait. Why are you on your own as well?" He hesitated to mention her following him.

"I confess, I have less endurance than you do on some occasions," Dulcet said with a sheepish smile. "I entrusted the young ones to a friend of mine, and decided that I needed to take a walk."

Howard nodded his head in sympathy, and found himself taking a few steps towards her until she was right in front of him. Height-wise, he had her by three or four inches, which seemed to increase as she lowered her eyes and shied away.

"What is it?" he asked.

"It is only that…you speak to me as if I am a sibling, or perhaps even a friend. But as you are a visitor, and a respected son of a respected leader at that. I am essentially your servant." She emitted a soft sigh on the last word.

"But why would I want to think of you as a servant? You were there for Chim when I was not, and you went on to bring joy to the rest of my siblings. And so you are my friend."

Dulcet paused, and then looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you, Howard of the Fount."

"I am Howard."

"I am sorry. I thought I had said that."

"Yes, but my name is simply Howard, with nothing else added. Like you are simply Dulcet."

"Very well. Howard."

At that moment, Stellovet's voice echoed in his head: "You are beginning to fall in love with that nanny." He took a second look (or a more thorough one, considering that he had never looked away) at Dulcet's eyes. They were listening eyes, wide and reflective and open to him. Perhaps he liked them—alright, he certainly did—but he remembered the questions Luxa had asked about sacrificing and wanting. He still wasn't sure how to answer those.

"You are not going anywhere in particular, Howard?"

"No—I mean, yes." He gestured to his belt, with the letter in it. "My father sent me a note asking me to meet him in the hospital wing."

"Oh! Is he well? You must go see him if he is there, I should not have kept you—"

"No, no, he is fine." Howard chuckled. "He and Queen Luxa are going to make some additions and rearrangements, and they wish me to help." But despite his assurance, a trace of fear haunted Dulcet's face, two worry lines near her eyes that Howard hadn't quite noticed until they were all that remained of her concern. "Really, it is nothing. What troubles you?"

"Oh. It is of little matter. A memory has only occurred to me, nothing more," she said weakly.

"May I ask what memory it is?"

Dulcet looked around at the hallway, which now had a few passerby because lunch was being served for them. Howard caught on. "May I show you a balcony a few paces from here? It is small, but I enjoy the view it offers."

"I would like that." Dulcet smiled, but her mind appeared to be far away until she and Howard turned a corner and there was Regalia, nestled in a large cavern for her to look over. The pinpricks of torchlight throughout the city's surface reflected in her eyes, and she took a step forward. "Oh…"

"Now you see why I enjoy it," Howard said with a grin. He took a seat on the stone wall rimming the balcony and leaned against the wall. He had to admit to himself that just this once, Dulcet's reaction had more of his attention than the city itself did. He tried not to say anything, but his curiosity must have been evident when she turned to him to point out what she had seen from her perch.

She let out a breath and sat in front of him. "I once received a note, as you did, instructing me to see my father in the hospital wing. He was a soldier, but I was a child, so I did not expect that he could be harmed. He did not expect so either; he thought that the Garden of Hesperides would be an easy win."

Howard hissed in a breath.

"Exactly." Dulcet nodded. "He was one of the few that General Hamnet could rescue from the gnawers. But a gnawer had clawed him awfully while trying to keep afloat, and he had too many punctures and too much blood lost for the doctors to do anything. They had many others to treat, so they sent for me and told me to watch over him. This was my first job, my first memory, and the first time I saw death."

Howard struggled to think of something to say. Even as a doctor, grief was not something he handled as well as he would like. "…I am sorry, Dulcet."

To his surprise, Dulcet suppressed a smile. "It is fine. I only think that, looking back, the situation was more about parenting and taking care of others, which is my line of work now. You see, the gnawer that clawed my father so horribly was not only trying to keep herself afloat, but her pups as well. And then as my father lay in the hospital, he fought so hard to keep his eyes open. It reminded me of what my mother must have done, when she died after my birth. And now I fight each day to ignore the fact that I have no parents, and I try to have the children think that I am like a parent. So that flood at the Garden of Hesperides nearly set my fate."

"I can still apologize. Orphans are not uncommon, but stories like that still deserve sympathy."

"And what of the other stories of loss? Surely everyone has had someone they love die. Perhaps even you."

Howard paused, and he looked at his hands. "I have lost Pandora, my bond. And then the Overlanders…they are as good as dead now."

"I am sorry." She put a hand on his knee as if her hand was a feather, because she feared the gesture to be unwelcome. "That was cruel of me to suggest the topic. I should have known you have surely lost someone after your adventures."

Howard's hand crept over hers. "It was the past."

"And besides, we may rest assured knowing those lost have loved us."

She said it offhandedly, but Howard had cause for suspicion because of the way her hand twitched underneath his and the way her eyes focused on the floor.

"What do you mean?" Howard asked.

Dulcet smiled sadly. "You are not the only one who has received a message today." She pulled out a slip of parchment folded over and over itself. Eyeing it in her outstretched hand, Howard took it and unfolded a letter that appeared to contain someone's entire life on it from how worn it was.

"_My dearest Dulcet,_

_If this letter reaches your hands today, either you have consented to be my bride, or I am no longer with you. I have never flattered myself to be good with words, and so should one of these occasions befall us, there will be more to consider than the words I shall now attempt to pen._

_From the day I first met you, I have loved you. Though you think of yourself as nothing but a servant, I see you as a guardian, like myself. And yet you put passion and heart into your work and your life, and so you stand out like a light in a pitch black cave. This light shines in your skin, your hair, your eyes—but it softens so that men like I can gaze upon you and wonder what it would be like to have you await me when I come home._

_I think constantly each day on how to convey this love I feel towards you. My assignment to protect the warrior brings me closer to you than I could ever have imagined. But why do I not speak? You are gentle and patient, and as you speak, warmth blankets the room. Place it upon my own character. I am but one man, and cannot speak to one as fair as you._

_If I have somehow overcome myself by the time this letter falls under your gaze, I ask you to be mine. I am but one man, but I will do my best to be everything you ask for. I will shelter you, and love you for each day and for the rest of our lives._

_If I have deceased, however, know that I always have loved you, until my last breath done. I wish you only the best in your life, and my sole regret will be to not be present as you enjoy what life brings you._

_With my heart,_

_Horatio_"

Howard sat very still as he read it, and then for a minute afterwards. This…this was what love was. Horatio (Horatio!) had described it to the minute detail, had covered everything that made Dulcet who she was, and conveyed his need to have her for those traits.

It frightened Howard. His heart knew the very same thing.

"His family found the letter as they looked through his leftover possessions," Dulcet said quietly as Howard scanned through the letter once more. "Is it not odd how he has died two weeks ago, and yet his love reaches me just now?"

"Odd," Howard echoed. He felt faint. Horatio was right, completely right, or so said a small part of him.

"What do you think of it?" Dulcet asked. She bit her lip.

"I…would like to know what you think, first," Howard concluded. He could not begin to worry until he knew what she felt when she read this.

"I suppose that it was very sweet of him to write this. It was a good way for him to express himself when he felt so limited otherwise."

"That could not really be what you thought."

Dulcet giggled. "What would you expect me to say?"

"Dulcet, this man—who no one has expected to have a brain, let alone a heart—has poured his soul onto a piece of parchment for you." Suddenly Howard's voice sounded higher. "The least you could do is answer whether or not you love him in return!"

Dulcet paused. "Very well. I do not."

"Why not?"

"Horatio is sweet, but when I knew him before this letter, he was just a soldier with his eyes on his task. I could not love someone who has not shown his love to me before he tried something like this."

Howard's lungs felt as if a boulder had fallen on him. "So…someone has shown his love to you?"

Dulcet quirked half a smile at him. He felt hot. "Yes, someone has."

"So soon after you learned of Horatio's love? Would you turn down this other person in the same day?"

"…I do not think I would. He seems to have more in his mind than work or war. He remembers people."

"But he must work, must he not?"

"Oh, yes. He helps the queen, and he is halfway to being a doctor."

The weight of the boulder compressing Howard's lungs doubled.

"You do not mind that he is the caretaker of his family? You do not mind his status or his memories that he cannot rid himself of?"

Dulcet smiled, and something in her eye glinted: something subtle and yet powerful in its form. "I do not mind," she said. And she leaned in towards his lips.

Howard flew out of his seat and backed further into the balcony. Dulcet froze, and then turned to face him with wide, curious eyes.

"I am sorry," Howard said, "but I do."

His Adam's apple bobbed as Dulcet looked over him and stood up. He took a step back.

"What is wrong, Howard?" she asked.

"I…I cannot do this. I am sorry."

"Why not? After Chim's accident, and the day you spent with me at the nursery, I thought…"

"I thought so as well. But then Stellovet was afraid, and Luxa tried to bring Gregor back, and Father called me, and Horatio…" Howard shook his head. "I am confused."

"As am I."

"No, I mean that I am confused about you. I do not think I can be what you think I am. I do not even know if I want to be like that. I think it would help me more if we thought of each other as friends. I could be myself then."

He held her gaze, and felt his shoulders slump when she folded her arms and said, "That is not right."

"Why would that not be right?"

"You are always yourself. What is your real reason?"

"…Do you remember that I said Stellovet is afraid? She is afraid because if I wed and leave her, she will have to take responsibility for our siblings. She is with them now, and I am certain she is praying for me to return so that she will not be blamed if the younger ones came to harm. And then Father and Luxa expect my help as they rebuild Regalia, and Mother expects me to raise my siblings when she cannot…so I have too many duties to others to consider a relationship like this. I hope you understand."

Dulcet shook her head. "I understand, but I do not believe that is your true reason. I have heard your tales, and so I know that duty is not always a priority to you. What of when you returned to Regalia instead of staying with the warrior?"

"Gregor was prepared to fight me, and Mareth was severely wounded—"

"I will ask you once more, Howard," Dulcet said steadily and looked into his eyes, "why you will not allow me to love you."

Howard took a breath and thought. It was not his family or his duties. It was not Dulcet or her expectations. He reflected on how, as Dulcet got closer to naming her as her love, his chest constricted almost until he was seeing spots. He'd grown warmer. His heart had raced. If his heart or mind remained lost, his instincts explained everything.

"I am afraid," he said quietly. "I cannot give myself away, no matter how many times my life has been on the line. And so I am afraid that you will steal my heart more than you have already."

Dulcet said nothing. She still kept her arms folded, but it now looked like she was nursing a wound. Howard looked away from her violet eyes and to the edge of the balcony, where Horatio's letter lay unfolded and wrinkled. A current of wind brushed up at that moment, and swept the piece of parchment up and over the rooftops of Regalia. Neither Howard nor Dulcet moved to stop it.

Dulcet sighed and stepped towards Howard. The gleam in her eye had vanished.

"I understand," she said. "This makes sense to me, rest assured. And I am sorry, both for me and for you.

"I realize you must meet with your father and cousin," she added. "But if I may offer you a small token?"

Howard nodded once. And so, with the tip of her toes and a little grace, Dulcet kissed Howard softly but sweetly on the lips.

She got off of her toes and looked at him with wide, solemn eyes. "I have wanted to do that from the moment I saw you run after your sister," she said. "But I believe it is you who needed it more than me."

She turned and walked back into the palace, with her footsteps echoing on every stone step. Part of Howard wanted to run, or call her name, or do anything. But the most he could do was sit down in the middle of the balcony, where the edge hid all the city lights, and try to hold onto the sweetest taste his mouth had ever had.

**To see the inspiration for the title and overall theme of this chapter, go to youtube and type in "the hardest part coldplay". I'd suggest a concert version, myself. And despite a less-than-pleasing ending, I wish you all a happy Valentines Day.**


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